Politics and Friendship
By 
“Well I have to tell you . . . I voted for ________”
“You did what!?!?!?” Words said only in my mind.
I was having lunch with a dear friend. When I heard who she had voted for, I felt shock and pain. I thought I knew her after fifteen years of friendship. How could she be my close friend and have that political mindset?
I smiled and said, “Oh, that’s interesting. Can you tell me why?”
She prefaced her answer with, “This is a free country and I can choose to vote anyway I like.” Then she went on to tell me her reasoning. The conversation was adult and civil. I didn’t agree with her, but I could understand her. Most importantly, our friendship is still intact.
She went on to tell me that she made the same “confession” during a telephone conversation with a friend of fifty years. That person’s response was “Goodbye and have a nice life.” The phone was slammed down. With one x marked on a paper ballot, a friendship of fifty years was abruptly terminated.
Similar scenes are repeated across the country. The end result may not be so dire, but many relationships are challenged; diminishing closeness and trust.
Would it surprise you to know that neither Hillary nor Donald lose any sleep over our broken friendships? Did you know that neither Donald nor Hillary are even aware that we exist? So why give either of them the power to steal our joy?
When someone votes against our candidate we take it personally. We assume that they’re turning against us and our ideals. But many times, our values have nothing to do with their decisions. Unfortunately, this past election has brought an inordinate animosity to the surface, and more rifts have occurred not only in friendships, but in families as well
I come originally from New York. We don’t abide by the rule that religion and politics are not up for discussion. We discuss these controversial issues openly with gusto. We gesture with our hands and raise our voices in a process that exercises the muscles of our brains. When these arguments are done, our friendships survive and are often enhanced.
Suppose we look upon our political differences as an opportunity to communicate, to ask for clarification, and hopefully to understand each other better.
written by Amy Bryant, Safety Harbor resident blogger
Amy Bryant
Author of You CAN Go Home Again
Hi Amy!
As you may already know, I can be friends, and remain friends with almost anyone, but in my mind, I will always question those that support evil policies.
I totally get that, Mike. But strangely enough, one person’s evil can be another person’s truth. That’s why I still hold out hope for dialogue. Thanks for commenting.
Just to add to the library of stories, I too lost a friend of 40 years because she misinterpreted something I said about President Obama, blocked me from her email and refused mail through the postal service. I decided I didn’t need the phone slammed in my face although to this day I STILL do not understand what she thinks happened. I remember lively debates among my parents’ friends but nothing that ended friendships. Yes, today politics and values feel very personal.
Yes, Patricia. Communication has gone awry. We need to add more compassion to the mix.
Amy, thanks. There’s much to learn about open-hearted listening! And to remain politically savvy, we need to stay aware that divisiveness is a strategy used by people who want/need to control others.
Barb – Thanks for sharing your wisdom.
As always, Amy, you are right on! I read your blog and it puts my head on straight.
Actually, I’ve had much of the same experience and feel similarly about it. I just can’t say it as well as you do. 🙂
I’m glad it resonated with you, Gisela. I’ve heard so many stories, I just wanted to address it.
Thank you Amy. I always enjoy your blogs.
I feel we should always be open to discussions and be able to say what’s on our minds. I also think we should listen and take some things with a grain of salt. Life is too short. Enjoy!
Thanks, Barbara. Yes. Communication goes both ways and listening is a very important part.
We also lost long time friends. Not a bad outcome per my perspective.